Lost and Found


Behind all all my shadows, there were many gifts waiting for me. Waiting to be seen and unwrapped. To do so, I had to dance a little with these shadows. By dancing with them, I have learned many lessons and gained many insights.

I gained more compassion for what was being revealed, even though feelings of shame, discomfort, and guilt arose. By simply experiencing and allowing these emotions to flow instead of suppressing them, I felt a sense of spaciousness. There was more room for love and compassion, which slowly diminished those feelings of shame, discomfort, and guilt. Or rather, they transformed. In this space and transformation, I could observe them as a spectator, without being carried away by any judgments or emotions. And when they passed by or made themselves known, I could look at them through the eyes of a observer.  As a result, it seemed like I was giving myself more space to see parts of myself that had been hidden behind those shadow pieces. They were hidden gems that I was able to gather. Things that, somewhere inside me, I knew existed but hadn’t been able to see or find.
Giving yourself space creates opportunities to discover a different version of yourself and get closer to your own strength and inner power. From here, infinite possibilities arise.

I chose to stand in my own power and listen more to my intuition. To follow it much more instead of pushing it away or rationalizing it. By being more loving towards myself and not demanding or expecting so much from myself. Letting go of expectations. By being softer and more loving towards myself, I was able to do that towards others. Perfectionism slowly made room for imperfectionism. And in this, I could also experience more peace. I have learned to break free from my limiting frameworks. Frameworks that consisted of old ways of thinking, beliefs and patterns. Out of my comfort zone.

Letting go of things I thought I had to hold onto became easier over time. Old patterns, mindsets, relationships, people, and the illusion of control. It came with doubt, fear, and guilt, but I couldn’t ignore it anymore. It felt like I had no choice but to walk towards a different version of myself. Once you make that decision, all you can do is keep moving forward. Towards a future filled with endless possibilities. Towards the person you truly are, but have lost sight of.

I initially discovered a version of myself that could be assertive and set boundaries. A part of me that always said ‘yes’ started saying ‘no’ more often. Taking a moment to consider what my feelings were telling me and daring to ask myself, “Am I doing this for someone else or for myself?”.
By saying ‘no’ more often, my ‘yes’ gained more value, more strength, more conviction. Simply because they truly came from within myself and not because I was meeting someone else’s expectations. In addition to voicing my boundaries, I also started to understand them better. Where was my limit? And was there any flexibility in it or not? How would I assert my boundaries?

Firstly I learned to reconnect with myself. I discovered the meaning and value of connection in a way that resonated with me. And I came to know my connection to the unseen world. Something that my father greatly helped and guided me with. With his assistance, I was led onto the path I now walk, and I am tremendously grateful to him.

I also learned about love and compassion. First towards myself, in order to truly experience it and understand its meaning and value. Love had many lessons to teach me. Check my blog – Lessons in Love….
I dared to show a vulnerable side of myself. By fully internalizing this, I started seeing the world and the people around me with different eyes. Including my relationships, friendships, and family. They were weighed against new insights. I let go of a lot, and somehow, the universe also played a part in this process. Anything that no longer resonated with me was allowed to be released or transformed.
I regained confidence in myself and my intuition. This helped me to further empower myself and enhance my self-worth. Gradually, my self-image began to change, allowing me to embrace my femininity little by little. I became softer towards myself and even learned to laugh at myself. Not always taking myself too seriously. What a relief that was!

I discovered a new path that I was allowed to walk, embarking on a new adventure. Walking this path has reawakened the inner child within me and with it, my dream. I was able to remember and pursue my dream once again. My dream and mission to help people with white magic. I discovered my gifts and talents and learned to embrace them.

And I was not the only one, as I had the privilege of getting to know many new people who were also walking in the same direction. I embraced a whole tribe of brothers and sisters, a family full of like-minded individuals. One by one, they embraced me as a whole being, without judgment, expectations, conditions, or limitations. I found a ‘family’ where love could flow freely, and the meaning of family changed for me.

I have been able to discover and receive so much! So much has been transformed in and around me. These are things that did not happen overnight. And this also happened with trial and error. You can only learn more from that. This is a process that takes time and patience. This is an ongoing proces. Each time I go deeper and deeper and I am still amazed by the gifts that I discover and the processes through which I am allowed to walk.

It is a beautiful journey and adventure to make for yourself and a unique opportunity to transform your Story!